The Frog Juice Incident
by amandajbruce
Summary: In which Oliver has frog juice spilled on him in Biology and his mother won't let him ride in her car smelling like garbage.


Frog Juice: Hannah Montana Missing Moment 4

A/N: This is one of the stories that I lost when my laptop died, so I've been trying to rewrite it from memory. It was prompted by Miley reminding Oliver in "Miley, Get Your Gum" about her spilling "frog juice" on him in Biology, and he revealed that his mom made him take his pants off in the school parking lot. After I saw that episode, the idea just refused to go away.

Lilly wrinkled her nose up in disgust and twisted her blond head back and forth, trying to determine the source of the smell. A little too late, she realized the stench was coming from the direction of her two best friends, and she noticed everyone else in the cafeteria was giving the pair a wide berth.

"Please tell me that isn't you," she said to Miley and put one of the sleeves of her jacket across her nose. Miley opened her mouth, but she was cut off by the boy who plopped down in the seat next to Lilly.

"Oh, it's not her," he commented angrily, leaning closer. Lilly pulled her head back as far as she could without falling out of the chair.

"Oliver, I already said I was sorry like, a million times! It was an accident!" Miley stamped one of her feet in frustration. "Besides, you thought it was funny when I fell." Oliver's response was to glare in her general direction. "Fine. I'm going to buy my food."

As she walked off toward the lunch line, Lilly sniffed the air experimentally. She just could not place the smell. Being friends with Oliver, and having been introduced to Miley's older brother, she had smelled her share of strange things over the years.

"What did she do?" She asked him.

"She spilled frog juice on me! Frog juice!" Oliver crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair.

"How silly of me. I never knew they made juice from frogs!" Lilly's sarcasm did not have its desired effect. Oliver just continued to glare at her. She sighed. "What happened?"

"Biology lab. Dissecting frogs today. "

"Darn it, I forgot. I have that after lunch." She noticed the look on his face. "Sorry, continue."

"Miley was supposed to take our tray up to the front and she tripped over her own backpack! How do you not know where you put your backpack?" He threw his hands into the air, and Lilly turned her head slightly to avoid the smell she expected was coming her way, but to her surprise it did not get any worse. When he noticed her questioning look, Oliver explained, "I changed my shirt, but I don't have an extra pair of pants. It's all down one of my legs." He pushed his chair out from the table and showed her that the outside of his left pants leg was darker than the rest of the material.

"Well, this can't be the worst smell that's ever come from you."

"In public?" He questioned.

"Hmmm… point taken. At least no one will try to shove you in a locker or anything. They won't want to get close to you." She smiled encouragingly at him and he managed a small chuckle.

"Here, I got you spaghetti." Miley set a tray of food down in front of Oliver and he looked up in surprise.

"You didn't have to buy my food." He pretended to be gracious, but pulled the tray closer to him.

"I thought it was better than making everyone stand in line in that small space with you." She put her own tray down and sat across from Lilly.

"Probably a good call," Lilly told her. She ignored the balled up napkin Oliver tossed in her direction, and tried to start a conversation that did not center on Miley making Oliver smell like a combination of old garbage and a fish tank in need of a cleaning.

When Oliver finally glanced down at his food he exclaimed, "what, no chocolate pudding today?"

"You sure are demanding for someone who said I didn't have to buy them lunch," Miley told him while she rolled her eyes. "They were out by the time I got up there. I got you a fruit cup instead." Miley pointed to the plastic container in the corner of his tray. He turned his head to Lilly, but before he could even ask she had swapped his fruit for her pudding.

"So, since you didn't have to buy food, can I have a dollar?" She asked him.

"What do you need a dollar for?" He asked her while carefully pulling the top from the pudding cup.

"A soda, duh." She said the answer like he never should have needed to ask the question.

"Nope, you still owe me for the half of my soda you drank at the movies this weekend." Oliver prepared to put his spoon into the pudding, but Lilly snatched the cup out from in front of him. "Lil-lee!" He whined and tried to grab it back from her. Miley grew impatient after watching the two struggle for a few minutes.

"Oh, for pete's sake, here!" Miley handed Lilly a dollar, hoping to keep the peace.

Before handing the cup back to Oliver though, Lilly took a mouthful of the dessert. He seemed torn as to whether he should eat it or let Lilly keep it. When she walked away to get her soda, he took the small container back and shrugged his shoulders.

"What don't you two share?" Miley asked him, a little grossed out by the prospect of Lilly and Oliver using the same spoon when she realized she and Lilly often shared lipgloss.

"Underwear." He remarked nodding his head to the strap poking out from Miley's shoulder.

"Oh, come on! We wear the same size. It isn't that weird!" Miley exclaimed.

***

By the end of the lunch period, Lilly had taken pity on him, and was trying to think of a way to make him smell better.

"Oh, I know. I just got this new body spray. It doesn't last very long, but it smells really good. You could use that. " She reached into her bag to find the bottle, but Oliver had a look of horror on his face.

"I can't use your girly body spray. I'm a guy!"

"Boy, do you want to spend the rest of the day smelling like the outhouse something died in?" Miley looked at him pointedly. "You are much better off smelling like a girl."

"You won't smell like a girl. It's coconut." Lilly was trying to reason with him now. "You use coconut scented wax on your board. This is no different." She dangled the bottle in front of him. While Miley was a little surprised that Lilly knew what kind of wax Oliver liked, she kept her mouth shut because she could see Lilly was getting through to him.

"Fine, but not a lot." Oliver waited while Lilly sprayed the air around him.

"I'll spray you some more in English if I have to," she told him, and the three parted ways for their next class.

***

For the next two class periods, Oliver spent his time listening to people ask why he smelled like tropical garbage, and he eventually gave up answering them. He ignored the insults from Amber and Ashley, who decided he could not get a date because he lacked proper hygiene skills. When he reached his English classroom, he was relieved to find out that they were going to be working in pairs and he could put a little distance between himself and the other people in the room. Of course, Lilly was the only one willing to work with him.

"That stuff only worked for about a half an hour, Lilly," he told her once the two of them had settled at the back of the classroom.

"Sorry." She tried to nonchalantly spray the air near them with the bottle, but the boy in the group a few feet away from them started coughing. When he turned to look at them, Lilly gave him her best death glare to get him to turn back around.

"Let's just start. There are only ten questions to answer." Oliver grabbed the sheet from her to get started.

Over the course of the class period, Lilly used most of the spray in the small container, and was beginning to seriously miss the beach. She always associated coconuts with surfing because Oliver had been using the same wax on his surf board for the last two years. She would have to make a note to not buy anything scented with the fruit in the future unless she wanted to spend her whole day thinking about waves instead of taking notes. She worked hard enough to pay attention now.

When the bell rang, Oliver was the first one out of the classroom, and Lilly had to hurry to turn in their paper and catch up with him.

"He better remember that his mom is giving me a ride home today," she muttered to herself.

When she reached the parking lot, she saw Oliver's mom's car near the front doors, and she noticed a small crowd gathered near it. As she got closer to the car, she discovered the crowd was centered around Oliver and his mom, which was always a sign of free entertainment for her.

"Hi, Mrs. Oken," she said brightly.

"Hi honey, get in the car." Mrs. Oken's eyes never left Oliver, who had his arms crossed and who was rapidly turning red.

"I'm not doing it." Lilly wondered what exactly it was that Oliver was not going to do.

"You are not getting into my car smelling like that with that biohazard of a pair of pants on." Lilly's mouth dropped and her eyes widened when she realized what was going on.

"Is that really necessary? I mean, we could just role down a window?" she asked as she crept forward, her sympathy for her best friend outweighing how amused she was.

Mrs. Oken glared at her, and Lilly decided her glare was much scarier than Oliver's. She decided to keep her mouth shut.

"Three seconds." Oliver's mother said this as if he could really manage to take his pants off in three seconds.

Lilly walked over to Oliver and whispered to him, "would you just do it already, or we will never get to leave."

She turned to the crowd and began shouting at them, "don't you all have to go home?" She climbed in to the front seat of the car and stared ahead, waiting for the show down to be over. As embarrassed as she knew Oliver would be, he always gave in to his mom, no matter what. When she heard a zipper being pulled down, she bit down on her bottom lip to keep from laughing out loud.

"Don't you dare turn around." Oliver's voice came from the backseat as she felt the weight of the car shift, and his door slammed behind him.

"Wouldn't dream of it." She watched Mrs. Oken cross in front of the car and deposit her son's pants into a garbage can. The car ride back to their neighborhood was silent except for Oliver's frequent sighs of frustration.

And she never would tell Oliver, but not turning around, or looking in any of the mirrors, or looking back to say good-bye when the car stopped, took absolutely all of Lilly's willpower. It was definitely something she would never forget.


End file.
